TOTALLY BEST FRIENDS

I was sitting at your table listening to a conversation
that was not mine - but this didn't stop me from listening.

I heard some giggles and plans for later
when everyone had left and it was just the two of you.
Thinking back to another conversation that
was so very much mine!

We were on our way to work - just you and I,
when you asked me, "how I knew?"
Driving and trying to fathom what
exactly you were asking me
kind of in a fog.

But you on the other hand was on mission,
hardly stopping to take a breath "well Mom,
when do you know when to be a Mom and
when to be a friend to us kids?"

I seem to remember - and of course my memory is iffy,
at the best of times, randomly saying "I just seemed to know.

Which wasn't what you wanted to hear!
stating that as much as you loved how your
Dad and I raised you - it wasn't for you.

You were so sure about what you were saying.

Now, years have gone by since we had that conversation
and imagine my surpise as I heard you and Gabby being
just the best of friends.

Thinking to myself - it reminded me of you kids
growing up at home.

Even though I am the Mom - and now the Grandmother too,
I had the very best of friends, My Sammie, Angie and Little Sam.
Smiling to myself it sounded like Gabby was your very best friend

Yeah, somehow along the way, you had figured it all out -
wondering to myself if you even knew that Gabby was your
very best friend.

My daughter, the mom and her very best friend,
As I chuckled to myself smiling at how wonderful
thing just have a way of coming full circle.

even for those so unwilling to accept the challenge
where the challenge becomes the way of things.

CHRISTY

I have always warned the people who come into my life and stay awhile, it's only fair to say there are reasons why these people have touched my life...and often more than not, they end up at the tip of my pen as I put thought to paper

Establishing their place in the pattern I call my life.

Well enough said...

Christy came to us through Gina
She brought her wit and a curious ken
And when Gina left, Christy stayed,
making the four of us the five of us.

The five of us shared plenty of crazy
anecdotes all mixed up
as we laughed
and cried and we shared our lives

Then came the day we knew Christ was leaving.
She needed to relocate, and family was always
to come first...but in my heart I refused to believe
knowing the day would come, but accepting
sometimes really too hard to do.

I have always had a special gift of words - and
so did Christy - It was awesome to be able to share
something so meaningfull.

I will miss her so much
She had a way of broadening my horizon
Making me rethink the words

...in a world when the words sometimes
mean too many things, She will be missed.

Reflections

Last night as I lay in my bed,
eyes tightly shut,
on the very edge of sleep
Sleep that I so badly needed

I saw a window of reflection open up,
and as I leaned forward
to peer inside I was gently
pulled within

And through the darkness of night
a bright light guided me as
the reflection appeared more clear

I saw people, special friends
events that were a part of my life
I saw much family more than I ever imagined
would bless my life so entirely
I saw the way my Lord had shaped my path
even as he shaped my inner soul.

I saw loved ones who had already left
this world for a better place

I felt the tears that slipped from my eyes
for the happiness, the sadness, the very essence
of life, I quietly slipped into sleep

Upon waking, I remembered my visit
with the reflections of my life,
knowing the Loard has blessed
me beyond belief

So as I celebrate the birth of Christ
and I watch a new dawn
of a new year unfold before me

I find myself opening to joy, peace
and much love.

Giving thanks where thanks is due
To my heavenly Father.

RIGHT HERE

For days, I continued to bounce off walls
The words that slept within were becoming restless
Their space too confining
So serious in their effort to come out to play
And thus, it begins again.

In my younger years, I thought I needed more
So I became greedy in my search
For I had a need that was all elusive.

I fought so hard in my desperation
For a love that equaled so much more
Making my search sometimes so ruthless.

Now, I look and I question this need
That feeling I thought I needed more of
and I finally see.

I already had the more, but was blinded by my greed
I took getting older, noticing I never mentioned wiser
fearing I'd see the doubt

I look at my family - my daughters and son
The grandchildren my children gave to me
and my heart melts with too much emotion
Pouring over me in waves of emotional bliss

So I look at the man sitting in corner
whose grown old with me,
who walked by my side and helped me with
The family we can sincerely call our own.

Realizing the more has always been there.
Here - right here.

My Work Family

I know these hallways well, have walked each and every one more than once.
It makes me think, about the people who have come and gone through my life and
the many who are still here. Walking right along with me still.

Most people just call this a job, and I value the paycheck more than I can say and I respect the daily contact I have maintained through out these many years.

But the friends I call my own, noticing that I do lay claim to them and the many faces that I have no name - just the faces - a face that is just as familiar as these hallways I've walked. Even nameless, theres' an acknowledgment there.

They make up what I call my daily life and yeah, it's just a job, but it's as familiar to me as my home. The people in unusual way have become an extension of my family, I guess I want to say that I've grown accustom to them in my life.

There is no blood shared, but we've shared plenty;
Enough happiness with plenty of laughter, shared
Some tears of joy, along with the tears of sadness, shared
We've grieved together, the losses,
the pain associated with these losses, shared
Our accomplishments and goals - our let downs, so shared

I can see plainly we've taken care of each other, by our sharing.
As far as I know - that's what families do
The giving and receiving of care well done, so freely
The sharing, just being there for each other.

Making me so much aware of the people who I share so much of my life with,
the other half of me that is not my Husband Sam, My children Samantha, Angie
and Sam Jr along with the grandbabies I will always treasure so much, but
the people I call good friends, are good people.

The group of people I share a unit with, my team.
It dawned on me that I miss them while I have been playing on this detail,
and I can't wait to see them - all of them.

note: I started working at the IRS, Dec 14, 1984. the Butler site for the Fresno Service Center became kind of like another family to me. A big family, I am proud to say I have friends everywhere in the service center. This is what I saw each and everyday. When I retire, I will be happy to retire, but I will miss the family that I made there in those walls.