My one true friend

It started with this morning as I drove to work My music was loud and playing my favorites when I hear Bette Midler, words of a song sung about friends - best friends

and hey I'll be the first to say my memory doesn't belong to me no more and sometimes a song or word will nudge me a bit and the memories come flooding in, blowing me away.

I remembered a prococious 3 year old, blonde baby fine hair riding this tricycle that was bigger than the both of us. I was 5 and Cathy was my very first greatest friendships I've ever had. She was my childhood and adulthood with a spattering of teenhood thrown in.

Even when I didn't keep the promises that I'd made to her and believe me I made a few. I found myself lost in love with Sam. He was mine and I had every intention of keeping him, knowing that I was leaving Cathy behind - I left her to fend for herself.

I can only say I am so glad she is still a part of my life and that she wants to be in my life.

I quickly hit repeat - the song was tearing me apart emotionally, I'm close to 60 now just a few years away and as the words hit me I was trying to put all the years together, accessing all the people who had at sometime or other been a part of my life. There have been many who have come, stayed awhile and left - and the memories have faded away.

OMG - a new nieghbor - I didn't even let myself stop and think, as I ran out the door rushing forward to a young lady who became my first sister by choice. For a few years we lived inside each others pocket, home, car and often so late at night after spending most of the day together with our ears pressed tightly to the phone as we happily laughed, cried and planned our next adventure. The wall between our apartments could never keep us apart.

I know I hurt you when I moved to Stockton and after two years and the loss of Dan we were back home in Fresno. God it was so good being back with my old friend.

Then she hurt me - she told me that because of Joe, she needed to move back to Texas. She needed her family there to help make her life better; but mostly for emotional support. I was selfish thinking only of myself, thinking I needed her more. She left and I hurt so badly that I refused to tell her goodbye and how much I was going to miss her.

It took a couple of years and I knew that I needed to find her and tell her I was sorry and that I missed her so much. With a little research I found a website with her last name, and I begged people who might know her "to tell her I missed her" - I left my name and email address and then I forgot about it.

One day as I was checking my email I got a msg. "if this is my Mickey, this is Gloria". I am so thankful and it warms my heart that Gloria is still a part of my life. In the short time that we lived next door to each other, she taught me what a real sister should have given me and never did.

The one's who've stayed, my co-workers of the last 11 years, are my other family and I treasure each and everyone of them.
Carolyn, Lora, Ruth, David, Damiem, Tab, Carol, Maria M, Maria S, Sandy, Stan, Jenny, Janet, Maggie, Blanche and Paulett. There have been too many over the years that are so special to me, special people who shared the same humor, values as I do.

Reaching over I hit repeat once more....

My emotions were raw, thinking of Lora, who became my sister by choice because I needed her - where friendship became so much more. Lora is my sister and all of a sudden I am all choked up, what a precious gift to have. We've each learned how easy it was to become sisters, we cared for each other

and..
with my great need for understanding, she understands me - Lora, my SBC with the full understanding of what it take to be me and she accepts me as I am.

Then late last night, out of the blue I told Stan - he's the older brother I never had. Thinking for years I've had a sister by choice, why not a brother. Not sure why I felt I needed to put into words what Stan meant to me. Sometimes, you just need to say the words.

So in my life, I've had some really special friends, who became more - they've become the family I never had growing up. I guess it was a need that required filling, and these special people were there for me.

True friends - what a special thing to have in your life, as I hear the words to a song one more time.

as it touches my heart.